Never Forget

Happy 9-11! no wait... bleh
Anywho, Yesterday was fun, we went on a day trip to the ocean! Westport, Wa. It was a nice beach and I had a great time in the ocean. Just letting the waves sweep over me :).

Found a few shells and saw a few towns. Went through Tacoma on the way there, and Stopped in Olympia on the way back to get some water from the artesian well. There were a lot of hipsters around it was funny. got some good water though! Got some fun pictures today! I love my camera :)

Danny has been quite harassing lately. Ruining my nights, and going back and forth with his emotions. He hates my guts one minute, he can't live without me the next. I wish he could be nicer. I really would love to be able to talk to him, and have him be there for me. I know it would do him a lot of good to have me be there for him too. It doesn't have to be this hard. He keeps resenting me for being able to ditch out on everything, and he has every right. I Think I resent him a little for deciding that i'm a bad person because i feel like my goals and dreams aren't as important as his. he always says how he would love for me to get a job and him be a stay at home dad. It isn't true though. I am offering just that. I love him and this is super hard for me, but i just don't want the same things he does. i really really wish he wanted the same things i do... i also wish he trusted me enough to the decision maker in our relationship. I am ready to be in the drivers seat. 

My future is so unpredictable right now. I could be anywhere a year from now. Will I be happy? I better be. Right now I see happiness including Danny, but right now he doesn't trust me enough to let him affect much of my decision making.. I want to help him, but am scared if I do talk him into going with me, there will be a power struggle and we will fight to much. That won't work at all and Cora doesn't need that. no matter what happens I will have to come to Cd'a several times a year probably for Coralines sake. She needs her daddy.. and he needs her.. It sure would be a lot easier to be happy though if he would just let me in, and stop resenting me for having a spiritual awakening. I'd love to help him have one himself. Hell, I'd just love for him talk to me about anything right now... 

anyway.. tomorrow we are going for a bike ride, and then friday I have a hair appointment! can't wait to get these dreads tightened up!!